R.I.P. Esther

Esther passed away shorty after mid night in the night of Monday/Tuesday. As I had just written earlier that evening (previous blog) that we have been busy with the oxygen machine and had brought her to the children ward, because there was oxygen. I was sad that day, it took too long for Esther to get better. I was worried, we had done everything what we could do...... Sarah was with her in the hospital and she called me at 12.20 am. She was scared and felt that it was not going good. I told her to get a doctor or nurse. As I called her back, some minutes later, I talked to her while the doctor examined Esther and we heard, together, the news that it was over. It was strange that I was on the phone with Sarah, just that moment. 

I was preparing to leave very early that morning to travel with Benjamin to Kampala again. One of the staff members, Lydia, was going with us and she and Baby Benjamin were also staying in our house, so we could go early. I really wanted to go to the hospital, to support Sarah and to take the body out to Amecet.... I woke Lydia up and asked her if she could take Benjamin in her room, so I could go. I called Simon, he is our neighbour, if he wanted to come with me, to travel alone in the middle of the night is not so wise. We found Sarah sitting on the bed (with 2 other patients..) and we carried the little body of Esther back to Amecet. There we prepared  her and clothed her in a nice dress. I was back home at 1.45 am. It took me a while to get back to sleep.....I have peace with Esther gone, she has suffered so much and you just saw her little body get smaller and weaker. I want to remember her how she was, she was small and fragile, but she was a fighter and she could look at you with those black, bright eyes. Like on the picture above. 

Dear Esther, we miss you, we loved you, but we know that you have fought so much, now you can rest, no more medicines, no more injections, enjoy the presence of Jesus, He cares for you. I am sure you are smiling now, we haven't hardly seen you smiling, but I am sure that you are happy now !!!

My alarm went at 5 am again and we were on the road at 6 am. Elias drove, we picked him in town. In Kampala, we saw the doctor and talked about Benjamin. we do not see much progress, but that takes time, according to the doctor. He wanted us to go for a M.R.I. he felt that Benjamin's head is smaller than normal. So we jumped in the car and found the place where they do M.R.I. examinations. We asked if we could get the results directly, because we wanted to take it back to the doctor. That worked out, but by the time I got the results, the doctor was gone out, so we had to go back the following morning. At least we could go to eat something, and then we drove to the guesthouse where we would spend the night. Helen and Cathy were also with us and they did so well. 

So at 8 am this morning we were back at the doctors office. He took time to talk to me and to explain the M.R.I. It was not really good news, they saw some atrophy in the brains, that would mean that he will be slow in everything and there is nothing to do about it. The doctor thought that it probably happened during the pregnancy, that the mother might have had an infection. 

I felt so bad after wards, this little beautiful boy has nobody to care for him, no family. We were going to try to find a good family for him, but this is difficult now, people might be afraid of his condition.. it seems so unfair... It all felt so heavy...Esther died and now Benjamin got this bad news. We had times that we got baby's in Amecet, we feed and care for them, and they go back to their relatives, it was almost easy. But this is not easy, who will care for Benjamin in the future??? We pray that God will show us the way and help us in making decisions..

Please stand with us in prayer????